Rest In Peace

Being able to rejoice through sorrow and mourning...

I sit at my computer feeling like I am currently in a dream, waiting to wake up. I had my day planned out today, the usual; homeschool the boys, make a dessert, get some laundry done, and dinner in the crock pot. If I was lucky, I would of set time aside to work on my book too. All of that changed when my phone rang at 8:18 this morning. I am ashamed to say that I wasn't out of bed yet, but managed to make my way over to the dresser to answer the cell phone. That's when I heard the words that I knew were coming soon, "Jenn, grandma passed away early this morning." I felt my throat fall to the pit of my stomach, as I listened to my mom began to cry on the other end of the phone. I didn't know what to say, or how to comfort her. The only words that could escape my mouth were, "I'm so sorry mom." My mom was scheduled to fly out tomorrow morning to say her last good-bye to my grandmother. She was a day too late.



Helen Rund 4/26/1923 - 3/22/2011

 I spent the afternoon over at my parents house today. I watched as my mom cried countless times, a tissue permanently in her hand. We talked about grandma before she got ill, as we went over things that needed to be done before her funeral. But through the tears and mourning we also rejoiced. You see, grandma excepted Christ into her heart a couple of years ago. My mom had been praying for my grandma's salvation for many, many years. She never gave up believing that she could lead her own mother to the Lord. It was during a visit to Oregon that my mom was able to sit down and really talk to my grandma about the Lord. She was finally in a place where she was willing and wanted to accept the invitation of salvation.

Over the past year her health began to really deteriorate, with no signs of bouncing back like she had done several times in the past. My aunt has been an angel, giving constant care and devotion to my grandmother for years. This past month was especially hard as death crept into grandma's body and began to take hold of it. She had gone from wheelchair-bound to bed-bound. Her pain had become so disabling, that even morphine brought no relief. Yet, through the pain and suffering, stood a tower of peace within her. You've seen the posting on tombstones, "Rest In Peace". It was a known fact, that when she left this world this morning, she was going to be able to run into the arms of God, pain-free, and truly be in complete peace. It was not who she was as a person over the past 87 years that defined where she would spend eternity. She was a good person, kind-hearted, and giving. But in light of that, it was the decision she made just two years prior to her passing that determined that outcome of where she would spend her eternal life after death. I think about everything she owned, and how it now sits in boxes, waiting for family to sort through it. The only thing she will take in the ground with her is a pretty dress on her body, and her wedding ring on her left hand. Yet, I know as she passed through the gates of heaven, she was greeted with more than the world could of ever of offered her. I picture her up there right now, along side my grandfather, who passed away 50 years ago. A long awaited reunion with both the man she loved and the Creator who loves her.

A sadness keeps sweeping over me, not because of my grandma, but for those she left behind. Not everyone has accepted Christ, and I mourn the idea that they could miss out on the reunion, when their day comes. My only option is to continue praying that they too would come to know God. Sure, I have heard people say, "Yeah, I know about God, I'm a good person, and I do good things." Guess what? Good works and deeds alone will not secure you a spot in heaven. When I say 'know God', I mean REALLY know God- to have Him in the deepest part of your being. To live and walk in the light of Him, dropping the ways of today's world; partying, drunkenness, swearing, gossiping, deceit, addictions...just to name a few. Here's the thing, you'll find that you will not change your ways because you had to, but because you will want to. Once you have Christ within, the things you use to do will begin to feel uncomfortable. God doesn't want you to come to him already cleaned up. He wants to take you just as you are right now; the most rough, broken, shameful, dishonest, addicted, people out there. He longs to see us transform from the inside out, as we grow through Him daily.

I am not ashamed to say that I am a Christian. As a Christian I have had to make the decision to live differently than the majority of the world. I have committed to take a stand for the things that Jesus himself took a stand for. I have had to learn to serve, forgive, love, and see others through the eyes of God...34 years in the making. Have I fallen over the years? Yes! Do I always get it right? No! It is not an overnight fix, yet a lifelong commitment that will only get better each day. The end result? Eternity in heaven, alongside God, the creator of the world. The creator of YOU! No more pain, sorrow, or fear. After you have taken your last and final breath, what words will you hear as you stand before God, "Well done good and faithful servant, enter into your Master's rest" or "Depart from me"? 

I know I sound preachy here, and I make no apologies for it. I am passionate about spreading the word of God to those who are lost. My family and friends mean that much to me! Remember, change happens because you learn enough that you want to, or you hurt enough that you have to. I encourage you to explore what the Bible says about who we are, what Christ did for us, and what we are to become. I suggest reading the "Message translation" of the Bible. It uses everyday, modern words, so it is easy to understand. Don't hold off tomorrow, what can be done today! Just like my grandmother, you don't know what tomorrow holds.

I will praise You,

When the tears fall,

still I will sing to You.
I will praise You,
Through the suffering,

still I will sing.
When hope is lost,

I'll call You Saviour.
When pain surrounds,

I'll call You healer.
When silence falls,

You'll be the song within my heart.

-Newsboys

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 (NIV)

The Bursting Bubble

As silly as the above video is, it is how most of us live. It is how I have lived for thirty four years, in my self-made bubble, often called my "Comfort Zone". Sure, I go to church every Sunday, pray at dinner time, fellowship with other Christian friends, and raise my children through Godly principles. I tell the cashier if she gave me too much change back, and I never cheat on my taxes. All in all, I am a good person. Now ask me to volunteer for a ministry, such as handing out water on a hot day to the homeless, teaching in Sunday School class, or helping to rebuild a home after devastation. My answer? "I'm too busy. I can't commit right now. It's not my season in life. Yadda, yadda, yadda." Translation: I am comfortable in my life and too lazy to step out and do good works in the name of God. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I watch one inspiring show on TV and feel the need to take on the world that very moment. That temporary high will fade very quickly. It's the complete opposite actually. For quite some time I have felt a stirring deep within my heart, a longing to do more, be more. Everywhere I turn I keep getting confirmation from God that now is the time to step out; be it that inspiring show, a random encounter, or specific sermons at church. Each day I feel less and less content just sitting around, living a "comfortable"  non-productive life.

I recently sat down with my family and asked them, "What are we doing to make a difference in lives around us?" I was embarrassed at our answer. "Nothing." We are so comfortable living our life, just rolling through the every day motions, that we have missed countless opportunities to reach out to the lost. I long for my boys to grow up with a passion to serve others, putting their own needs last. I remember an illustration our pastor gave during a Sunday morning service:

 'Two men were walking down the beach. The tide had come in high, washing hundreds of starfish onto the shore. When the tide went back out to sea the starfish were left to dry up in the hot summer sun. One of the men reached down and began to pick up a few, tossing them back out into the water. The other man asked him, "Why bother? There are so many, it doesn't even matter." The man tossing the starfish replied, "It matters to this one...and that one...and that one," as he continued to toss one by one.'

That is how I view our world. I know the needs of the world are far greater than I can handle. But...one by one, lives can be changed, Needless to say, my bubble was shrinking, making it hard to move. The solution? I have officially popped my bubble, and have stepped out into a new zone. A zone where worldly living meets Godly giving. You know, non-believers are not confused by the gospels, they are confused by us Christians. They don't see the need to have a relationship with God because they don't see us living any different then they do. My goal is to change that perspective in those around me. I am excited, as my family has taken on a commitment to volunteer in an organization, touching lives of special needs children. We have jumped back into a Bible study group, growing through the word of God. Before moving forward, I personally had to bury some old hatchets from grudges I held. I have had to ask for forgiveness and in return forgive. In order to be effective and grow spiritually, all chains had to be released. Fear of stepping out has been replaced with excitement, as we see how God plans to use my family to further His kingdom. What are you doing to truly make a difference in the world? What fears have you trapped in a bubble, preventing you from stepping out of your comfort zone?

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever." 1 Peter 4:10-11 (NIV)