Life's Lemons

When life deals you difficult people...

We all have one, maybe even more than one...a co-worker, family member, neighbor, or friend who continually steps on your toes. They come in all personalities-- tacky, insulting, edgy, vein, aggressive, selfish, materialistic, loud, ultra-sensitive, degrading, spiteful, pompous, competitive...the list could go on and on. Unfortunately, most offenders are naive to their lacking. Some of you put up with it, while others find ways to avoid such individuals all together, for fear that you just can't handle much more. It's not long before you get to the point where you wonder if you should continue to try anymore, or just walk away from it all.  I have run into various situations, through various individuals over the years. Everything from being told the "right way" to do things, to the point I didn't think I did anything right at all, to having my family made fun of for the way we live, look, or the way we do things. I have been ignored in group settings to the point I felt non-existent. I have been reminded countless times of my failures, weaknesses, and downfalls. My life style has been mocked, as my limitations and lack of resources have been pointed out. I have walked on eggshells, afraid I might say the wrong thing and spark a new feud. I have been back-stabbed, turned on, and lied to. I have been made to feel less than important, compared to those around me. I have watched as words spoken from my mouth seemed pointless and unengaged to those receiving it. I've also watched those same words get twisted and lost in translation. Over all, I've been mistreated by those who claim to care about me, making it hard to trust any ones intentions.

My reaction? I have fought back and I have sat silently. Either way it seemed I lost. You see, when you speak up you are labeled as a cut-throat, insensitive, loud mouth. When you sit silently you just continue to be beaten up. This is life as we know it. Unfortunately, mistreatment is all around us. Perhaps it is your work place, family, or friends. What ever the case may be I'm sure you are tired of living up to expectations that will never be met, as the bar is always being raised. Not to mention that the minute you don't do what is expected then cue the drama. It is like an unspoken rule that you are required to live by, yet you don't know what exactly that rule is.

So what do you do? First off, go to prayer. Pray for guidance in the situation. Then, take time to let the individual know how they are hurting you. You need to remember that some only see life through their own eyes. Their world is only made up of them and their feelings and problems. In a way, you are irrelevant. Next, give it time. Change requires time, if someone is actually willing to change. If  the problem continues then it may be healthier to just walk away or distance yourself from the situation or person. Some people and circumstances will never change. A lot of energy can be wasted on trying to repair pieces that quite frankly do not fit. You may never have answers as to why people treat you the way they do. Most offenders seem to blame it on their personality, stating "It's just the way I am." or "I do that with everyone." I personally think that is unacceptable. Some offenders will try to correct that one situation or circumstance that upset you. The problem then becomes that people are only treating one symptom to a much larger disease. Regardless, you need to move away from it and stop spending energy on it. Your time and well-being is worth more than that. There is enough drama already in the world, and there is no need to create your own.  The way I see it, some people take lemons and make sweet lemonade. I however, take lemons and throw them down my disposal to get rid of the stench. How will you use your lemons to better your life today?

*For any readers currently sitting there asking themselves, "Is she talking about me?", let me clarify that this is not intended for any one person or group. As easy as it is to use blogging to vent, that is not my intent. Unfortunately, I have had my feathers ruffled enough over the years by several off-putting individuals and know that I am not the only one who struggles with these issues. My hope is that I can use my situations to validate similar feelings, helping you find resolution in your own journey. Just know that in this big, harsh world you are not alone!

Bieber Fever

When simple curiosity turns into inspiration...

It's official...I have Bieber Fever. Weird, huh? I honestly don't know how it happened. Over the past year I would see Justin Bieber on TV or news articles, and like most adults I would say, "How annoying, this kid is so over-rated. And his hair has got-to-go." Then it happened. I got curious enough to see for myself. My sister and I decided to rent the Justin Bieber movie, "Never Say Never". I hesitantly reserved a copy for pick up at my local Redbox. There must of been some embarrassment still present in me, as I found myself hovering over the rental box, concealing my recent rental from public eye. I mean c'mon, I'm a 34 year old woman with two boys! Oye.

So, we sat and watched, not knowing what to expect. It was more of a documentary than a movie. It started out with Justin as a young child and went through his story to stardom. At one point I felt like a fan at a concert, reaching my arm out toward the screen, tears streaming down my face, yelling, "I love you, Justin!" Okay, not quite. But, he was good. I had no clue of the dedication and natural talent this kid had. His story actually inspired me from within. Creepy. A kid with a dream and love for music, discovered by random chance through a You Tube video, growing into a sensation that would eventually sell out Madison Square Garden in one year! What? How does that even happen? I immediately turned to my boys and declared, "Your growing your hair out and learning to dance and sing. Stat." I was literally taken back in awe, fascinated by his story. How such a young teen can achieve his dreams so early on, yet I am still figuring out how to take the first steps toward mine. It is mind boggling to me. Over the course of the next week, my 4 year old niece insisted on watching the video at least twice a day. She too knew a good thing when she saw it! I found myself walking around the house humming songs from the video, to the point I irritated even myself. Finally I said it, "That's it! I'm getting the CD." Okay, so my husband found it strange and groins came from my boys. But, the music really is that good. Will it be weird to see a mini van driving down the road blaring Bieber tunes, with only the boys and me in the car? Perhaps. Will I be jamming it out from behind the steering wheel with a smile on my face? You bet!

His story got me to think. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to line up events in my life and force things to happen. There are life decisions to be made, but I often find myself straining to hear God through the noise I have created. In a weird way, the Bieber story has left me feeling encouraged. In the back of my head his lyrics keep ringing, "Never say never". In other words, keep pushing forward and believe that it will happen. When your knocked down to the ground, don't give up and certainly don't assume outcomes. Do what you love to do and things will fall where they need to fall, according to God's timing. Pretty profound for such a young kid!