No Regrets: Wives Reality Check ~ 21 Day Challenge

Calling all wives! Beginning March 14, join me in my No Regrets: Wives Reality Check 21 Day Challenge. In an effort to step up in our roles as wives and deepen our relationship with our spouse, I am running a 21 day challenge. Each day I will post a new challenge, encouraging you to be more respectful, loving, and honoring toward your husband. I also encourage you to sit down and talk to your husband, prior to starting the challenge. Let him know your desire to grow and deepen the relationship. Inform him that you are challenging yourself, these next 21 days, in an effort to step up your role as a wife, but don't tell him what your daily challenges are. This helps eliminate him wondering why you are all of the sudden do things you normally wouldn't do. :) Plus, gives accountability. Remember, you are not just completing a daily act and marking it off your list. These challenges are meant to change the behaviors of your heart. You can read about the recent tragic event that sparked this challenge here. To receive these daily challenges via Facebook or Twitter, visit me at www.facebook.com/jennifervandahm or @JenniferVanDahm. You can do this ladies, I'm praying for each and every one of you! Also, be watching for the "My Heart's Keeper: 14 Day Parenting Challenge", starting May 4! We will take steps to becoming more committed parents, who engage our children's heart on a daily basis.

Daily Marriage Challenges

Day 1: Physical: Do not interrupt your husband when he is talking today. That's right ladies, we talk too much! It is disrespectful when we cut our husband off mid-sentence, as it is telling him that what he has to say is unimportant. Mental: Consciously listen to each sentence he is saying, which will help you to focus on listening, and not thinking about what you want to say next. Spiritual: Ask God to help you to 'bite your tongue' in moments of discussion.

 Day 2: Physical: Hug your husband at least two times today. In our busy lives we often place physical affection on the back burner. Mental: Each time you embrace your husband, think to yourself one thing you love about him. Spiritual: Ask God to help you focus on the positive things your husband has to offer, not the negative.

Day 3: Physical: Forfeit your computer, cell phone, or TV for the evening, and spend quality time with your husband. Think back to the quiet moments you cherished when you were dating and pick one--going on a walk, reading a book side by side, playing a game together, or just talking... Mental: Live in the moment, reminding yourself how fortunate you are to have this time with him. Spiritual: Thank God for putting your husband in your life.

Day 4: Physical: Ask your husband's opinion on something today and go with it. Let him know that what he thinks matters to you. It can be as simple as what to cook for dinner, what to watch on TV, or helping you decide on a particular outfit for the day... Mental: Remind yourself that marriage is a two-way street and your husband does actually have a say in matters. Spiritual: Ask God to help you let go of the reins a little more, giving your husband some of the control in the marriage.

Day 5: Physical: Bake, cook, or buy his favorite meal or dessert today. That's right, we are going to pamper him with food, so go ahead, knock his socks off! Feel free to throw some candles on the table and break out the good dishes. Mental: So you know his favorite meal, but now try to name five more things that he really enjoys in life. Think of ways you could surprise him in the future, using these things. Spiritual: Thank God for the unique qualities your husband brings to the marriage.

Day 6: Physical: Praise your husband for doing something good today. Quite often we focus on what they didn't do, causing them to feel like a failure. Instead, try to search for the good in him. Mental: Recall what it was that made you fall in love with your husband and dwell on that. Spiritual: Ask God to help you be less negative in your marriage.

Day 7: Physical: Today work on "asking" your husband, rather than "telling" him, when it comes to requests. These requests happen each day, without even realizing it--we "tell" our husband we have plans later in the week with friends without checking with him first, we "tell" our husband to stop at the store on the way home verses asking, we "tell" him to take out the trash...you get the point. Mental: Before asking your husband to do something, first ask yourself why you are not capable of doing it yourself. If you don't have a legit answer to that, then try to do it for him. Spiritual: Ask God to help you be a more productive wife.

Day 8: Physical: Write your husband a note today, thanking him for all he does for you and the family. Leave it on the bathroom mirror, in his lunch bag, or on the seat in his car... Mental: In your head, run through your husbands typical day. Take note of his hard work to provide for the family. Spiritual: Thank God for giving you a devoted, hard-working husband.

Day 9: Physical: Make it a point today to tell your children a great quality about your husband, in front of him. If you don't have children, then either tell him directly, mention it during a phone conversation with someone, or post it to his Facebook wall. Either way, make sure you publicly state it, and that he sees or hears it. Mental: Think back to the moment you first saw or spoke to your husband. What attracted you most? Spiritual: Pray over your husband's life, that God would use his great qualities as a blessing to others.

Day 10: Physical: Proactively kiss your husband when you first see him in the morning, when he comes home from work, and again before bed. When you wake up, the first five minutes of your attitude sets the mood for the day. Start it off in a loving mode. Mental: Ponder how affectionate you really are toward your husband on a daily basis. What keeps you either displaying it or with hold it? Spiritual: Ask God to open your heart, helping you to become a more nurturing wife.

Day 11: Physical: Plan a special upcoming date night and ask your husband to "save the date" on his calendar or have it tonight, if time allows! Keep the actual event a surprise if you can. It could be a movie night at home, dinner out, a stroll through the park, grabbing coffee... Mental: Ask yourself why you cherish alone time with your husband. What makes it so precious? Then ask yourself why you don't do it more often? Spiritual: Ask God to help you be more grateful for the time you have with your husband.

Day 12: Physical: Tell your husband that you are glad you married him and the reasons why today. Pull out your old wedding albums and reminisce about the day. Mental: While looking at the albums, take special note of the glowing smiles and passion you each had. Lock those moments away in your heart. Over time, it is easy for a married couple to cross over to feeling more like room-mates. Find your old spark again! Spiritual: Pray for God to forgive you for any old baggage, situations, or unforgiveness that has caused you to have a heavy heart toward your husband.

Day 13: Physical: Today, ask your husband of a new daily task you could do, in an effort to make his life a little easier. It could be having the coffee maker ready to go in the morning, packing his lunches, or even a little yard work... Mental: What task does your husband dread doing? Come up with a way to simplify the task for him. Spiritual: Thank God for your ability to help others, and for the opportunity to serve.

Day 14: Physical: Find 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to sit and talk with your husband today. Talk about future goals, how his day was, upcoming projects around the house, vacation plans...doesn't matter what you talk about, just talk! Mental: Remember what you practiced in Day 1...Don't interrupt when he is talking. Spiritual: Ask God to lead you and your husband to make wise decisions as a couple, ultimately affecting your future.

Day 15: Physical: Today, ask your husband what he feels you could be doing better at. Encourage him to be honest, and then be prepared not to give a rebuttal. What ever the answer, don't be insulted. Mental: What area do you feel that you fail most in? Make a promise to yourself to work harder in that area. Spiritual: Ask God to give you an open heart, willing to make changes for the better of your relationship.

Day 16: Physical: Go the whole day today without correcting or being negative toward your husband. Let's face it, they just don't do things the way we do, and probably never will. Mental: Think of some of the habits you have gotten into over the years. Do you have a set way of doing things? If so, what makes your way right all of the time? Spiritual: Thank God for your husband's presence in your life.

Day 17: Physical: Proactively hold your husband's hand or cuddle on the couch today. Take this time to show him that his touch is important to you, then watch his face light up! Mental: Remember back to the time when you were dating, and recall how your heart fluttered each time he kissed you. Spiritual: Thank God for the love He shows us, that we in return can show our love.

Day 18: Physical: Plan to join your husband for an activity that you normally would not-- his TV shows, reading, sitting in the garage or yard as he works on his hobby, or a sporting event... It actually means a lot to them when we show an interest in their hobbies. They also enjoy just having your presence there. Mental: Don't concentrate on the activity itself; focus on the bond that grows out of sharing the experience with your spouse. Spiritual: Ask God to give you a new appreciation for your husband.

Day 19: Physical: Surprise your husband today by doing one of his chores for him. Show him that you thought about him, and respect the hard work he does for you. Mental: Is your respect for your husband evident to those around you? If not, what are you or are you not doing, to uplift your husband around others? Spiritual: Ask God to help you show respect for your husband outside of the home, as well as inside.

Day 20: Physical: Pack your husband a special lunch to take to work or bring him lunch. Get creative and slip a sweet note in there too! Mental: Ask yourself why you do what you do each day. Is it because you have to, or because you know it makes your husband happy? Change your perspective, if you are unable to change your circumstance. Spiritual: Ask God to help you have more of a servant's heart, when it comes to your role as a wife.

Day 21: Physical: Today, tell your husband two things that you admire about him, and how those things make you a better person. Sometimes husband's don't even realize the positive impact they have on others, and it is a good boost to hear it. Mental: Think of one wife that you most respect. What sets her apart from the rest, and how can you learn from her role as a wife? Spiritual: Pray for your husband's health, protection, and future.

Congratulations! You have completed the No Regrets: Wives Reality Check 21 Day Challenge! But, it doesn't stop here! I highly encourage you to continue in your journey to be the wife that God intended you to be--respectful, loving, and honoring. Continue to find ways to freshen your marriage, through your every day behaviors, actions, and words toward your husband. Strive to cherish your time together, making the most of each moment. I pray that God would work in each of your lives, bringing you to a new level in your marriage. Be watching for the "My Heart's Keeper: 14 Day Parent Challenge", starting May 1! We will take steps to becoming more committed parents, who engage our children's heart on a daily basis.
Feel free to leave a comment below, letting us know how yesterday's challenge went--successes, road-blocks, husband's reaction, or even admitting you didn't do it :) Let's keep each other accountable!